Bait and switch online dating

17 Apr

Getting involved with someone who's so demanding from the start is sure to end in disappointment.

"Nobody gets everything on his or her list," says Heather in San Francisco.

If that didn't turn her off, then the subsequent emails from the same men asking why she was an ageist definitely did. I'm the Boss of You It's okay to state some basic requirements, such as whether you're willing to date someone who smokes or who has children.

What's not okay is to expect potential suitors to conform to a long list of demands.

"I should've taken that as a sign, but I figured it was Friday night, so I shouldn't judge.

When we met up in person, he was a [jerk] and kept asking me if I 'liked to party.'" So a good rule of thumb is: if your date is drunk the first time you talk to him on the phone, end it there.

That is, until you receive a message or phone call confessing that the picture he sent wasn't really him, and that he's actually five years older than he claimed, but now that you've gotten to know him, that shouldn't be a problem, right? The intent is to trick potential dates into falling for their "inner beauty," but all this ruse really reveals about someone is that he's a liar.

The Silent Treatment No one expects to meet in person after just a couple of emails, but if you've been corresponding regularly, it's expected that you'll take your relationship offline.

If the person doesn't even want to talk on the phone or meet for coffee, it's okay to wonder what his motivations are.

He might just be nervous, but he could also be someone other than who he says he is.6.

Some practiced daters have a standard letter they send to every single person they find even mildly attractive.

Someone who truly wants to get to know you will take the time to write a personalized message responding to specific items in your profile, not send a generic cut-and-paste letter saying, "Hey girl, I saw your profile and was intrigued …" Think about the hundreds of other people who've gotten the same letter, and decide whether you’re willing to accept only the barest minimum of effort.3.