Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Are you spaghetti cause I want you to meat my balls.

Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by eight.

Hi, I’m wasted but this condom in my pocket doesn't have to be. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' between 'F' and 'CK’ F**k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura? Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them.

I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in.

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?

If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down?

Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis!

Cause I'm not doing you but I definitely should be.

There will only be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus. I hope you like dragons, because I'll be dragon my balls across your face tonight.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?

I'm like a Rubik's Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!